I use to want to forgive those that mistreated me. Bullied me. I wished that of other people, to start anew. If we could get along. A new change instead of feeling hatred for the way I was treated. Though some people never change, their stance towards me always stay the same. If I were to ask, “Why can’t we start again on better terms?”, I know nothing would change. I tried with one person before out of many. Conflict resolution they call it? It didn’t work, maybe because I didn’t know how to make it work. I tried to find ways to approach the situation, but part of me felt like I was... desperate. Is asking to be treated with respect and with open arms desperate? I know there’s people who don’t like me, and not many know this, but it has brought me down before. I didn’t want to be an enemy, I wanted to be a friend. At least something good. Sometimes friends become enemies and you lose them forever over something stupid. Or people have something against you over something small. If I ever acted “mean”, it was out of defence. It was because I wanted to give those people a taste of their own medicine, but I realize that only keeps the fire going. I gave up on that a long time ago... I gave up on asking, yet doing nothing is what will hurt. You can either choose to keep trying or walk away, like a relationship that struggles to keep itself. I stand up for myself without putting people down though. I try not to bring down anyone while doing it. I am stern but not cruel. Instead I show them I’m not one to be walked on. Not anymore. I know you can’t make people like you, and I know you can’t really call out people for treating you like an outcast. You can call them out on their unjust behaviour, but even if you do, you are just given a permanent cold shoulder. Nothing gets resolved. You either are on one’s side or you aren’t. This I have experienced a lot of, in the real world, and online. This is partially why I isolate myself... I’m grateful for those who consider me a worthy friend, those who can see the real me. I mean no harm. I never meant harm. If I have caused any, then I am truly sorry. Take it as a genuine apology. I just wanted peace. I just wanted somewhere to be accepted. This is why I feel I must leave at times. Nothing against anyone, but for my own well being.