There are a few things I am beginning to understand and accept in life. One of those things is that people move on. “Friends” forget you and move on with their lives, and end up replacing you. Bye bye, you don’t matter. The second thing is people may dislike you and there’s not much to be done about it. Some don’t want to listen and reconcile with you even if you want to make peace and others potentially happy. “That’s just life”, they say. Is it? Kind of, well... shitty. Ah well, I’ll learn in time maybe.
Those are merely shards of an example as to why I choose my own company often times.
Welcome to my world.
The Samurai set herself up to perform in a little tavern nearby, with a small “orchestra” her little sister prepared her flute for the song, which was sung to the tune of Rattay Feasts from KCD.
“Alright, well, it goes like this!” She coughs, clearing her throat.
Once upon a time
I met a tiger general,
For his armor ‘twas made of gold,
and his eyes shined like the emerald
He was the most noble warrior
These two eyes had seen!
Sometimes my mind wanders back
to what we could have been!
Then the day arrived
I had to leave the city!
I could sense him from behind,
He wanted to come with me!
I told him with a heavy heart, “I must go alone.”
Once I left the city’s walls,
He stood there on his own.
Does he ever dream at night?
How I look in the moonlight,
Or us fighting side by side?
Fighting evil day and night!
I gotta, gotta get,
I’m going back to Delgin!
There I will confront his King
To tell him that I love him!
“A warrior of nobility, and strength he did possess
If I cannot apologize, my heart will never rest!”
There I, there I was,
I was back in Delgin
Accompanied by his King,
We went to the courtyard
In a fever of excitement I kicked open the doors!
It was then and there that I heard a mighty roar!
Why you should have seen the look plastered on his face!
Once I ran and tackled him, in a romantic embrace!
She would bow, the crowd laughing and cheering at this little love story. “Thank you, thank you!”
YEE! *throws panties on stage*
Heartbreak feels too much sometimes, especially when feelings are still there. I cry and it still hurts the same. I have these dark thoughts. It’s hard to cope. You beg for mercy, but there isn’t any. No matter how exhausted you are inside.
Think of me, think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Remember me, once in a while
Please promise me you'll try
When you find that once again you long
To take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment
Spare a thought for meWe never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me
Think of all the things
We've shared and seen
Don't think about the way
Things might have beenThink of me, think of me waking
Silent and resigned
Imagine me trying too hard
To put you from my mind
Recall those days
Look back on all those times
Think of the things we'll never do
There will never be a day
When I won't think of you
“The noble man stood. And the people looked to him. For he was a beacon — hope given form, yet still only a man. And within that truth there was great promise. If one man could stand against the night, then so too could anyone. So too could everyone. In his strong hand, the man held a rose. And his aura burned bright.”
Officer: SOLDIERS! KEEP MOVING!
Soldiers: Si vis pacem para bellum:
(If you want peace, prepare for war.)
Dulce bellum inexpertis:
(War is sweet to those who haven’t experienced it)
(A cause of war...)
... DEUS VULT:
...(God wills it!)
(In times of war...)
... silent leges:
...(the law falls silent)
Officer: BELLUM! OMNIUM! CONTRA! OMNES!
(A war of all, against all!)
Soldiers: Bellum omnium calculo est
(War is for the reckoning of all)
Lus ad bello, lus ad belli
(A right to war, the right of war)
Non me constringis...:
(You cannot hold me back...)
(... even if you really wanted to)
Si vis pacem para bellum:
(If you want peace, prepare for war)
Officer: BELLUM! OMNIUM! CONTRA! OMNES!
*repeats until the enemy is dead*
GOD WILLS A MOSH PIT!
I am the blood that boils in the heart of the beast, I’m a killing machine, with a hunger deep! I’ll scorch the earth with a mighty shriek, and a million full metal jacket teeth! You better believe it when the boot comes down, the blood I spill on the battleground, will soak the earth until the wicked drown, in the death I deal when the hate comes out!
I use to want to forgive those that mistreated me. Bullied me. I wished that of other people, to start anew. If we could get along. A new change instead of feeling hatred for the way I was treated. Though some people never change, their stance towards me always stay the same. If I were to ask, “Why can’t we start again on better terms?”, I know nothing would change. I tried with one person before out of many. Conflict resolution they call it? It didn’t work, maybe because I didn’t know how to make it work. I tried to find ways to approach the situation, but part of me felt like I was... desperate. Is asking to be treated with respect and with open arms desperate? I know there’s people who don’t like me, and not many know this, but it has brought me down before. I didn’t want to be an enemy, I wanted to be a friend. At least something good. Sometimes friends become enemies and you lose them forever over something stupid. Or people have something against you over something small. If I ever acted “mean”, it was out of defence. It was because I wanted to give those people a taste of their own medicine, but I realize that only keeps the fire going. I gave up on that a long time ago... I gave up on asking, yet doing nothing is what will hurt. You can either choose to keep trying or walk away, like a relationship that struggles to keep itself. I stand up for myself without putting people down though. I try not to bring down anyone while doing it. I am stern but not cruel. Instead I show them I’m not one to be walked on. Not anymore. I know you can’t make people like you, and I know you can’t really call out people for treating you like an outcast. You can call them out on their unjust behaviour, but even if you do, you are just given a permanent cold shoulder. Nothing gets resolved. You either are on one’s side or you aren’t. This I have experienced a lot of, in the real world, and online. This is partially why I isolate myself... I’m grateful for those who consider me a worthy friend, those who can see the real me. I mean no harm. I never meant harm. If I have caused any, then I am truly sorry. Take it as a genuine apology. I just wanted peace. I just wanted somewhere to be accepted. This is why I feel I must leave at times. Nothing against anyone, but for my own well being.
Indeed very true